I am a Lotus

 I am a Lotus 

I amaze myself that I am even still alive. I have been through so much, both health-wise and emotionally. Far more than most people.  Even after all I have been through I feel I have a good disposition, I have tried my best not to dwell on the tragic life, but just on the positives. I have always made goals for myself in the healing process and life in general. Some are as small as just getting up out of bed in the hospital and walking to the front door. To build a thriving business. 

I was born with a rare heart condition. Drs told my parents to just take me home and be with me till I pass away. I was not supposed to survive. Boy did I prove them wrong!!! One doctor along Dr Henry Heins said do not listen to them, she is strong. I was transferred to Children's Hospital in LA. Where I had my first heart surgery at 3 days old. I was a little fighter and Dad says I always had a smile on my face even after the operation. I was a good baby and grew healthy and strong. As a little girl, I took up dance at 3 years old. I loved Dancing, being so free. 

At 5 years old I had my second heart surgery. Again came out a trooper, continued to dance, and lived a normal childhood. My parents did not treat me like I was ill and let me do whatever I wanted. 

At 13 years old I needed my 3rd heart surgery.  This time the Drs at UCLA replaced my Vaulve with a pig valve Again I came out a trooper, continued Dancing, hanging out at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, and discovering Boys. My teenage life was a normal one. Had a boyfriend, continued dancing, and went to parties every weekend.

At 36 I was happily living in Pacific Grove. Then tragedy hit. I was not feeling well. Coughing, tired… Was this from stress? I took a week off of work and just hung out at the beach. I still did not feel the best, but continued working, I went to a Dr in Monetery and he said I had allergies. So I started allergy meds.  In my weak state, I flew to LA and stayed at the Bonaventure Hotel downtown. I went shopping at the design mart. But could barely make it. I took a taxi back to the hotel and ordered room service. I just did not feel right, I called my parents. They came from LA Quinta took one look at me. I was pale and had lost a lot of weight. I just was never hungry and coughed so much. They drove me to UCLA Hospital. Where I was diagnosed with Hematogenic amima. It's where your white blood cells are eating your red ones. I was just a week or so away from my deathbed. I stayed at the hospital for a week to recover. I was told I needed small doses of chemo - for 8 weeks through an IV treatment. Since my husband was in no condition to take care of me, my parents took me in. Once a week one would drive me to the doctor’s office at UCLA to sit there for 6 hrs with an IV in my arm. Sometimes we would spend the night at my Aunt in Sherman Oaks or in a hotel. I was so weak I could hardly remember anything. 

The IV treatment did not work, so I had to have my spleen removed. During this time my husband left me at my parents in La Quinta. He never came back. I healed and decided to stay with my parents till I was back on my feet 

By mid-July, I was not feeling the best again, I started coughing and just feeling weak. I'll never forget I was with my dad at a restaurant having lunch. I started to get very cold, my insides were cold but I was sweating. Drips of sweat, but shivering. Dad took me to Eisenhower Emergency in Rancho Mirage… They did a heart echo and saw a little piece of something had landed on my pig's valve. My body had gone into shock.  It was decided I needed open heart surgery to replace the valve. The surgery would be done at UCLA. First I had to get strong enough to make the trip to UCLA and have the surgery.  A team of Drs at Eisenhower worked together to get me strong enough. I had a beautiful privet room overlooking the gardens. After one week I was finally strong enough. The ambulance transported me from Eisenhower to UCLA.  I remember the ambulance drivers were in their 20s and nice-looking. We listened to rock music and chatted the whole way there. 

Once at UCLA I was wheeled down a corridor, and the smell of urine filled my nose. This place was a dump compared to where I was. I cried and went into a depression.  All I wanted to do was get back home to my parent's house. This place was so depressing… I shared a small cramped room with another woman. I laid in bed and thought of my Aunt Manya she had gone through hell and back. She was a holocaust survivor. Thur this thought is how I got thru this hellish time. I had my heart surgery and it was a success.  I spent another week in intensive care. In and out of conciseness. I was so duped up on a morfine drip, that I saw devils and bugs climbing on the walls. A baby was crying next store. In my mind, it was a dog barking. When I finally started coming too, I opened my eyes and saw my dad sitting by my side. 

My Dad was the one man who stood by my side, through it all 

After 6 weeks in Hell of the Hospital - I was finally able to go back to my Parent's home. With the help of my parents, I continued to grow strong. This time It took me three years to gain enough strength to move out of my parent's home. 

It's been almost 20 years since my last heart surgery. During that time - I have been living in Palm Desert, CA. I live a healthy Life. Own a successful interior design business and a home. I make it a priority to do some type of workout for 1 hour 6 times a week. Yoga and hiking are my favorites. I never let my past health issues stand in my way. I am like a lotus rising from the murky mud into a beautiful flower.